Customer Funny but not so funny

Today I had a customer call and ask me if I had any 8th grade math sets in stock. I asked her which publisher. She said it didn't matter. Then she asked me how much they were. I said that they are all different prices. So she said she's coming later today.

Now, I guess I'm just a bit too picky, but to me, it matters which publisher I buy from. Each curriculum is different. I would never pick a curriculum for my kids simply by picking the one that was prettier or cheaper than the others. I guess advertisers know what they're doing when they design a curriculum for shelf appeal. Don't parents realize that this is their kids' education? And what an opportunity, to be able to find a curriculum for your child that fits like a glove! I can't tell you how many times I have escorted a customer to the Alpha Omega shelf, and they say, "I'll take it," without even looking inside the box. Sooooooooo sad.

I have over 50 tubs of consignment to price. Going one at a time. And I have even more than that ready to pay at the end of their consignment.

Have done really well not stepping on cracks and lines the past two day. Ankles and hips are hardly sore at all!

Daughters are at a girls' conference all day today, and R is helping me at the store. He's learning how to check in Bob Jones books and put them away. Our sale was a success and we are able to pay rent next week. Today has been slow at the store. Only a few sales. Glad I don't have to pay R for his help! LOL

Well, the lady just came in and didn't look at anything. She bought Alpha Omega without even opening it because she had heard the name of it from a friend. She said that the child failed 7th grade math, but she bought 8th grade math. I advised her against it, and so did her husband. I guess she wears the pants in the family. She said she wanted books on horses for a second grader, which I showed her. I said that when the child reaches about the 3rd grade reading level that I suggested the Marguerite Henry books. She said, "Well, she's an excellent reader. Let me see them." When I showed them to her, she said, "Yeah, they're too hard." Why wouldn't she listen to me?

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr. Smith. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745- 2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is smith@home.net Which number are you calling from? Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice .
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza.I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take? Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution our country started using in 2006 prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!