Retail Funnies

I am low on time today and am having a brain freeze. Good timing! So I thought I'd include a few retail funnies I found. Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with these stories. My customers are MUCH smarter than this!!!!!

Overheard this on a London bus:
First Woman: "I don't know what to get Fred for his birthday."
Second Woman: "Why don't you get him a book?"
First Woman: (after a moment's thought) "Nah, he's already got a book."

I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items, and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider and looked all over it for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"
I said, "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today."
She said, "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue about what had just happened.



I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"

Albert Einstein:
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

~now go relax, dears~